Astrogirl and her Astros

The Wizard goes tonight.

For Astrogirl, this bit of news is enough to halt the outside world, to constrict it to the confines (this evening) of Minute Maid Park, where (this evening) we catch the broadcast of Our Really Something Special, eg, Roy Oswalt, starting pitcher for the Houston Astros.

This (you must understand) where Astrogirl shines. Astrogirl is a wonderful cook, a wonderful teacher, a wonderful daughter, and will soon be a splendid wife. In all of these capacities she fails to measure up to her true role in life: a screaming, insane, all-knowing, fan of her beloved Houston Astros.

As the saying goes, no zealot like a convert.

In the first the Wizard allows a lead-off home run, but that is it. 6-1 Astros.

Astrogirl goes home happy.

Astrogirl plans a trip.

"I want to go to an island," she says.

"Which one?"

"The one near Massachusetts."

"Nantucket?"

"No," she says. "The other one. Martha Stewart."

Astrogirl on our biggest fan

A reader writes in:

Are you saying you're dating Jessica Simpson, or what?

Astrogirl's response: "No, I'm not Jessica Simpson, or even like her. I know what the Secretary of the Interior does."

Which is?

"Forests and things. He hangs out with Yogi and Boo-Boo.

Close enough.

"So there."